By Dr GS Grewal
 

At first, you barely notice it. Your father stops going for his morning walk. Your mother doesn’t visit the neighbour anymore.

They order groceries instead of walking to the market. They spend more time on the sofa. And when you ask why, the answer is usually:

“Bas, ab umar ho gayi hai.” But what if it isn’t simply age?

What if your parent is slowly losing confidence, strength, mobility or social connection—and everyone around them is mistaking it for normal ageing?

The danger of “they’re slowing down”

Ageing is natural. But becoming less active, less mobile and increasingly dependent is not something families should automatically accept as inevitable.

Sometimes the change begins after a small health problem. A painful knee. A fall. Breathlessness. Poor eyesight. A long hospital-stay. Or simply months of sitting at home.

The parent walks less. Then they become less confident. Then they go out less. Then they stop meeting people. And eventually, the house becomes their entire world.

Sometimes the biggest clue isn’t what an older person complains about. It is what they have stopped doing.

“But Papa seems perfectly happy at home.”

Maybe.

Or maybe he has simply stopped asking for the things he misses.

The walk he used to take. The friends he used to meet. The Park he used to visit. The family functions he now avoids because standing for too long is tiring. The shopping trip he doesn’t want to make because getting in and out of the car has become difficult.

These changes deserve attention. Not panic. Not assumptions.

Attention.

Because the earlier we recognise a change, the earlier we have an opportunity to understand it and respond to it.

Don’t wait until independence is lost

This is why I believe elderly care should move beyond treating problems only after they become serious.

For adults over 65, I recommend considering a comprehensive geriatric assessment as a proactive step—even when there is no obvious illness.

Why? Because an older person may have several small changes that nobody has put together. Perhaps walking has become slower. Perhaps balance is not as good as it used to be. Perhaps several medicines are being taken. Perhaps appetite has changed. Perhaps memory or mood has changed.Perhaps the person is becoming less confident about going outside.

Individually, each may seem minor. Together, they can tell an important story.

A comprehensive geriatric assessment looks at the older person as a whole and can help identify areas where early intervention, support or closer monitoring may be useful.

The objective is not to find illness for the sake of finding illness.

It is to recognise change early and help prevent avoidable decline wherever possible.

Ask a different question

Instead of asking:

“What is wrong with you?”

Try asking:

“What have you stopped doing that you used to enjoy?”

That answer can tell you a lot. Senior care is not only about checking blood pressure, blood sugar and medicines. It is also about asking:

Can you walk? Can you move safely? Can you manage at home? Can you meet people? Can you still do the things that make you feel like yourself?

Healthy ageing is ultimately about maintaining the ability to do the things that matter to us. So, this October, don’t just call your parents and ask:

“How is your health?”

Ask something more revealing:

“What has become difficult for you lately?”

And if they are over 65, consider making a comprehensive geriatric assessment part of their regular healthcare—not something you think about only after a fall, hospitalisation or major health crisis.

Because with ageing, early attention can make a meaningful difference.

The aim isn’t simply to add years to life. It is to help older people retain as much independence, confidence and quality of life as possible within those years.

(The author is Director, Senior Care+ Programme, Pacific OneHealth, New Delhi)