Dr. Deepa Gupta, Consultant – Psychiatry

“I always thought I was just lazy”

She was 29, a software engineer, bright and well-liked. Yet she had changed three jobs in four years. She missed deadlines, lost her keys almost daily, started projects with great energy and abandoned them halfway. Her parents called her careless. She called herself a failure.

She came to me for anxiety and low mood. As we traced her story back, a pattern appeared: report cards that said “intelligent but does not pay attention”, a childhood of being scolded for daydreaming, and an adulthood spent working twice as hard just to keep up.

She had ADHD (Attention Deficit–Hyperactivity Disorder). Nobody had ever thought to look for it, because she was an adult, and because she had learned to hide it so well.

ADHD does not end at childhood

Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a neurodevelopmental condition. It affects the brain’s “executive functions”: attention, planning, organising, controlling impulses and managing time.

For years, ADHD was seen as a problem of restless young boys that children “grow out of”. We now know that in many people symptoms continue into adulthood. Studies suggest that a few percent of adults worldwide live with ADHD, and most of them have never been diagnosed.

What often changes with age is the form. The child who could not sit still becomes the adult who feels restless inside, cannot relax, and is always juggling too many things.

Common Symptoms of ADHD in Adults

• At work: procrastination until the last minute, missed deadlines, careless errors, difficulty with boring or detailed tasks, frequent job changes
• Time and organisation: chronic lateness, cluttered spaces, forgotten appointments and bills, losing phones, wallets and keys
• Attention: drifting off in meetings or conversations, starting many tasks and finishing few, yet sometimes “hyperfocusing” for hours on something interesting
• Impulsivity: interrupting others, impulsive spending, quick decisions later regretted, risky driving
• Emotions: quick frustration, mood swings, feeling easily overwhelmed, strong sensitivity to criticism
• Relationships: partners feeling ignored or unheard, arguments about forgotten promises and household tasks

Everyone has some of these on a bad day. In ADHD, they are lifelong, present across settings, and cause real problems in work, study or relationships.

Why Adult ADHD Often Goes Undiagnosed

Masking and coping. Intelligent adults often build elaborate systems (alarms, lists, working late nights) to compensate. From outside they look fine; inside they are exhausted.

Women and girls. Girls more often have the inattentive type: quiet, dreamy, disorganised, but not disruptive. They are rarely referred as children, and many are diagnosed only in adulthood, sometimes after their own child is diagnosed.

Overlapping conditions. Many adults with ADHD first come to us with anxiety, depression, sleep problems or substance use. These are real and need treatment, but if the underlying ADHD is missed, improvement often stays incomplete.

Stigma and labels. In our culture, these difficulties are often explained away as laziness, lack of discipline or a “weak character”. Years of such criticism leave many adults with low self-esteem long before anyone mentions ADHD.

Adult ADHD Diagnosis & Treatment Options

There is no blood test or brain scan for ADHD. Diagnosis is clinical: ADHD psychiatrist takes a detailed history of current difficulties and of childhood, often with input from a parent or partner, uses standard rating scales, and rules out other conditions that can look similar, such as thyroid problems, sleep disorders, anxiety or bipolar disorder.

The good news is that adult ADHD is one of the most treatable conditions in psychiatry.

• Medicines: stimulants such as methylphenidate, and non-stimulants such as atomoxetine, can significantly improve focus and impulse control. They are prescribed and monitored by a psychiatrist, with attention to heart health, sleep and appetite.
• Psychotherapy: cognitive behavioural therapy adapted for ADHD helps with planning, procrastination and self-criticism.
• Coaching and psychoeducation: understanding ADHD helps the person and the family replace blame with strategy.
• Practical tools: phone reminders, one shared calendar, breaking tasks into small steps, a fixed place for keys and wallet, and body-doubling (working alongside someone).
• Lifestyle: regular sleep, physical exercise and limiting late-night screen time make a real difference.

ADHD treatment for adults works best when it combines medicine where needed with skills and support.

A note from the psychiatrist’s chair

When my patient finally heard the word ADHD, she cried, not from fear but from relief. “So it was never just me being lazy,” she said. With treatment, she is now settled in her job and, for the first time, finishing what she starts.

ADHD diagnosis is not a label to hide behind. It is an explanation, and a starting point for change.

Consider seeing an ADHD psychiatrist in Karol Bagh if:

• these difficulties have been present since childhood
• they affect your work, studies, finances or relationships
• you feel you are always working harder than others just to keep up
• anxiety or low mood keep returning despite treatment

If this blog sounds like your story, or the story of someone you love, it may be worth asking the question. It is never too late to understand how your mind works.